so hmm

so hmmm...
today wasn't a bad day overall. hungout with some coolies from High School. I got lunch at Joe's and they have the BEST friggin dish..mustard crusted chicken, I am officially in love. The chicken was succulent and well seasoned, the green beans were like Heaven's version of green beans. They were especially verdant and cooked in a nice butter that made them quite delicious. and the mashed potatoes, ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyy. I won't ruin them by my limited vocab. Go try it. Shit is off the wall.
Then, we went to the Gap for bathing suit shopping, and alana refused to try on a bathing suit. (The Gap has really cute female bathing suits, btw) which made me upset, but I did get her to try on a modern mumu. Honestly, when I first saw the Mumu, I was like, "Dear God, what IS this hot mess fashion disaster??" but, when put on an actual person, I really liked it. Kudos, again, to the designers at Gap. However, I still am miffed about the whole denim men's button down..What is that?
but moving on....
Shaw's boy FINALLY got in contact with me today, and I belive Saturday night is thundercats go.
And I'm really pumped to get back to school to resume my mission with Clark. I can't believe I haven't seen him in a week! It's bananas!
My Tanglewood audition is in 24 days. My "Ave Maria" is no where NEAR ready, and I am getting quite concerned...I do have back-up pieces but they just do not showcase my voice and skill as well as Ave would...
I sent in my BU app stuff last week as well. I am pretty pumped for that, and as the days pass, I feel it that I will be accepted, and that's where I'll most likely be. It's very exciting and liberating. I will finally be studying what I've wanted to study since like I grew a brain, and I'll be in the city, and I'll be amongst a new crowd...It's where I've wanted to be since graduation and it is at long last approaching.

these past couple days..

have been excruciating. I am waiting (patiently) for a response from Mr. Shaw's boy to my message of when he is free. I waited, waited some more, hung out with Monika and Alana, waited some MORE. Finally after about 2.5 days I'd had enough, so i add hom on my AIM buddy list and IM him, to have him not respond.
wicked
fuckin
cool.

now, idk what to do. All I want to know is when he is available so we can hang out as HE said we could/should. like...vacation ends in four days dude...what are you DOING?
anyway, that's my gripe for the day.

What is going on?

Seriously. Today, well tonight I log on to facebook to see that Ms. Derman invited Ms. Arruda to a party. Instantly I got jealous and upset.
which is silly...
I graduated from high school two years ago! why am I holding on to these feelings and opinions of people I haven't even seen in two years? WHY?
then I did some creepin and landed on Nick Drew's page, and became depressed. He was always everything that I wanted to be; good looking, intelligent, witty, fearless, moneyed, popular, blah blah blah. To this day I still think to my self, "Jesus, why can't you be like him?"
Why is what I do not good enough for me?
I got another poke back from Shaw's boy today. Should I poke him back, or just approach him like a normal human being?
by now he MUSt be aware that I'm into him (unless he's like really obtuse, which would be a HUGE shame, and would solve the problem without doubt)
now my computer is mkaing this unfamiliar humming noise.
great.
lovely.
and everyone is out partyin except me.
this is kind of bad but my rant here made me think "what would an emo do?"
...I think we all know what would happen in that scenario. It was morbid, yet it made me laugh. Thank-you emo children for being ridiculous and making me feel better about myself.

aaaaaaaah

Phase one is complete!!! Stage one is DONE! I planted my seed, and now its time to harvesst!!! He needs help in trig, and it just so happens that I am really good at trig. Like, HULLO SERENDIPTIY!?!?!?!

Thank Heavens for Chopin.

so it's 12:14 and I am sitting here just mellowing out with Mr. chopin in my ears-could a moment be any more sentient, calm, and simple? I doubt it.
I love this time of night, for it is when I reflect on my day and my various choices I made today. For instance, a certain someone whom I once dated who now thinks we're BFF's (even though I really dont feel that way) IM'd me twice within one hour to ask me weirdo questions, and to allude to us getting together again, even though I've made it explicitly clear that will not happen. Why is he so clingy? Am I velcro?
ugh, it was just not my cup of tea tonight, especially after having a moment in class with Clark today. OK, well it really wasn't a "moment" perse, but our eyes did meet for like 4 seconds (mad long) and it was quite lovely. I then turned to pay attention, and I could still sense him looking at me. (however, this could have been to figure out why I was stealing glances at him ALL class, and trying to get into his conversations..the latter part didn't work so much) But that's what happened.
Then there is the forbidden fruit (although in reality, he's probably a wiser choice than Clark because I at least know forbidden fruit is gay). I kind of have a crush in him as well, and I poked him a couple times on facebook to get his attention and then perhaps to follow up with an e-mail along the lines of "hey, I noticed you keep poking me, why is that?"

...........well that's what I would do.
But not forbidden fruit, No. he just like poked me back twice then stopped. it was disheartening, lol. Perhaps this is a sign that I really need to get over myself and just talk to him (he works at the Shaw's near me).
My Tanglewood auditions is a month away. I am KIND of freaking out, as it approcahes, and my audition piece is like no where near where it should be. And then class keeps interfering with my practicing, as does work. It's a problem, and it's one I'm tackling head-on, and despite being all nervous I am really pumped.
Speaking of work, I cannot open an effing Gap Card to save my life. lol it's a good thing I'll be leaving soon because otherwise I think my boss might fire me. It's BANANAS! I'm like the one fool there who cannot open a card (perhaps it's because I really just am very lackadaisical about opening one anyway). I will be sad to leave because I was just getting to know one lady who works there and she is quite fun. we even jokingly planned a salsa dance party.
another thought about romance- if a certain human being would just graduate already and move up to Massachusetts, then my problems would be solved. He and I would be so great for each other.

Thank GOD for Wanda!

Wanda is back in Math class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the shit show continues...today she was getting testy with mr. former-hottie-but-not-so-much-anymore-because-he-is-kind-of-a-dick teacher about various trig functions and their inverses. it was kind of really funny. I loved it.

Bananas!

my friend who blogs all the time is bananas, and I hate it when people take off their hoes in the middle of discussions of racism. I did not come here to stare at your nasty, dried out, hairy man feet with jaundice-y toe nails, thankyouverymuch.
Pu ya shoes back on!