Huh?

So my basically best friend just told me she has cancer. She's 18 years old. To me, this is so out of left field I don't even know how to handle this news. and what makes it worse is that all week I've been reevaluating my friendship with her. Lately she had been toting this disgusting attitude and was clinging to me like nothing I had seen before. I had no idea she was harboring this secret of Cancer so I j ignored her for a while. She IM'd me today and I explained to her why I was ignoring her. However, I didn't mention that I had been thinking that maybe I shouldnt be friends with her. I had observed tis change for awhile and I reasoned she might j be like this forever, which brought me to "Do I want to be around someone like that?" I said no. And now I find out she has cancer. It makes sense why she was acting in that manner.

so now, I just feel like the worst human ever. Here is this poor girl with a terminal disease, seeking the solace of her best friend, who secretly isnt sure he wants to be friends with her!! that is disgusting and inexcusable! like my brain isnt even processing right now im just so out in left field. I feel AWFUL.
Yet on the plus side, I know that I want to still be her friend and will dutifully be her bffl. It's just all the issues that I complained about to her just pale in comparison to her issue. I mean, do I even have a right to say anything now? My issue is like middle school shit and here she is with cancer.

I still just don't know how to even take that in.
WHAT DO I DO?
I'm feeling panicked. To whom can I speak about this with? Anyone? What if she does die? What then? Can I just pick up my bootstraps as I preach to everyone? Her absence would be an insurmountable blow. My brain is simply refusing to recognize the fact that she may perish. Each time it comes up in my mind, the inner voice just immediately retorts back, "No. She won't."
how do you know??
and the boy who I am totally taken with has a man. Sort of. its complicated. "the boy" and I are friends, and I really don't want to overstep a boundary with a romantic pass. Its so hard to supress my feelings. I just look at him and I melt., and I know he is not interested in me that way, which makes it difficult for me. And last night we cuddled. It was kind of one of the best moments of my life. Silly, I know but w/e. Despite us cuddling, he's not into me. Again, Huh?? Other people who know him better than I all tell me "Danny is just very touchy, he just wanted to touch someone and you happened to be there." Which OK, that makes sense (I guess?) and so while he is caressing me up and down I just have to sit there and swallow my feelings and be just his friend, nothing more. God its so challenging and annoying! Why can't he j like me already?
I mean know life is supposed to be hard but come on!
Cancer?
unrequited love?
College assignments/classes?
playing psychologist to friends?
financial troubles?
My goodness!