I fucking hate pie.

Pie is just fucking nasty. It's like the wal-mart of the dessert world, I feel: WAY too over popular (usually by people who shop at wal-mart, incidentally) and just blah and uninteresting. Pie is just so fucking nasty! With its dry crust, too gooey fruit or pudding filling. I hate it. And for my holidays, it's all my family makes! I just want to die every time I see pie sitting on the friggin food table at my nana's house. Really I just want to like throw it away. So, this year, I'm gunna make something I like; perhaps a Tiramisu or some holiday cake, something that is actually worth the effort it takes to make my way through the overcrowded kitchen, grab a plate, grab a eating untensil, serve a piece of shitty disgusting pie (because again its like all my family knows) Then find a place to sit and eat it. Which, incidentally, doesn't usually happen, so I end up standing which is even more unsavory. Damn it, I want to sit and eat my dessert! Why is that SUCH a challenge?
Ugh I just hate pie. It really ends up ruining my enjoyment of holiday desserts. I turn on the food network alot to find Paula Deen or Giada De Laurentiis making something amazing; such as a chocolate creme brulee or a lovely trifle. I see this and become hopeful; Maybe, just MAYBE someone will acquire some good taste and oh I don't know NOT make a pie, but make a trifle. I arrive at the party, every year all excited, waiting to look at the table and NOT see a pie glaring at me. I ask politely, "So what's for dessert?" the anticipation builds inside. NO pie!
"Oh, we have applie Pie, cherry pie and chocolate creme Pie, your favorite!" (being genuine. They really think I like pie)
and then, I die inside and slump away to a chair, not near the ungodly pie.