Hung Up

I am completely hung up on someone (again), and it is completely illogical and I feel fucking retarded.
First off...
1. He lives 11 hours away
2. He's taken
3. He has a different idea of fun than I do
4. He doesn't chat like I do.
5. I know it would never work between with us.
SO why in God's green Earth am I hung up on him?????!?!
WHY?
I don't get it!
Am I one of those crazies who will cling to the first peson who shows an honest caring for another?
God I hope not.
I pray that's not why.
But it seems, it is.
ANd the worst part is, I have no hope for meeting someone just as cool as him.
here anyway
I should just be a nun. It's easier.
I have a hankering to call him, text him, talk to him, anything, something!
But....
I don't want to seem crazy (even though we all know I pretty much am at this point)
What the fuck is all I can say at this point I'm just so irritated with myself.
As of this moment, I officially give up on love.
The ONE human being that I like and respect and seems right for me is completely unavailable and not interested in that way, which he as made abundantly clear.
However, at points I have caught him lightly flirting.
And everytime I see him, or hear from him, I don't feel good enough.
Yes, this is turning slightly into a pity party but I have no where else to vent.
Like, I am really at a loss as to what to do.
Do I move on?
Do I lock this feeling away until a more convenient time?
Do I give up on love?
Do I continue?

Am I bothered?


extremely.